In a pulse

In a pulse
In the way
my heart quickens
in a pang,
in a desperate left-turn sidestep
whirling girligan
hula crazy
absence
what are you finding?
Behind your couch,
in candles blown out

I am finding pieces of you
wrapped up in old socks
held together
with mangy hair-ties,
in between a particle of dust
and a dead fly’s abandoned leg
you are there
or more, what you were
and what you passed to me -
with a sense of martyrdom & legacy
- is becoming slowly my self-awareness,
my left-turn right-march
falling on the floor
jump up dedication,
my strive
and drive

and yes,
In a pulse
In the way my heart quickens
I hear what you taught me
and can no longer uphold,
urging
me onwards
and up.

November ‘07

Moves On

I remember your breath
I will remember the death
Of a singular fascinating night
And the way you trembled on the back of my neck
And the way something in me moved
towards the light

Nothing else I can do
Nothing else I want to
I found one home with you
But home moves on
Home moves on

Letting you go on
With your ignorance
You think you know best; and who am I
To deny
So I’ll forget a breath
On the back of my neck
And pretend I don’t know you’ve gone awry

But when I get to my land of plenty
When I go back to the sea
The salt reminds me, of your harshness
There are things expected of me
I can’t stay, I can’t leave
I am looking at the stars
And the gutter is cold

Nothing else I can do
Nothing else I want to
I found one home with you
But home moves on
Home moves on

Letting you go on
With your ignorance
You think you know best; and who am I
To deny
So I forget a breath
On the back of my neck
And pretend I don’t know you’ve gone awry

April ‘07