out of the wrenching comes
the words I speak directly
out of my arteries but
somewhere lose on the
way to my brain

come hither, don’t watch
don’t pause as I
undo myself before you
just keep clapping
to their dance
watch them while I

quietly make myself close
and then show in my bigness
hoping
you won’t see my
smallness
creeping up to you

keep watching them
further away

November ‘09

your eyelashes
are holding me up

balancing me
on precarious edge
of your image

clinging tight to your
eyelashes
smile
your manner,
walking dreaming through the day,
feeling that at any moment
my skeleton
will crumple,

but your eyelashes
are holding
me up

November ‘09

Recognising the moment
proves impossible
ribbons uncurl darkly
from my centre, reach out
waving
beckoning
obscuring the view
and I cannot identify
the moment
the right moment
for the life of me,

I’ve never been good at
“appropriate”
or “decorum”
I reach out,
only knowing how
to be loud
obvious
crass

this requires a subtle touch
and I am incapable
of such -

I never know the moment
so the moment never comes.

October ‘09

I believe
this pricklefrost will melt
and that is all I need to do

every block seems
ancient
eternal
gritty
but I believe
and that is all I need to do

the light
and angles of rooftops
piercing my brain, but still
I believe

tomorrow will come unglued
from my freeze-frame unexpectations
and move,
summer will come

I believe
and that is all I need to do.

October ‘09

I love you beyond
the height & breadth & edge
of this funny little thing
which is
- purportedly -
me,
I have never fitted well
into this frame
never quite got the hang of it
never quite grew into being this
never quite got the steering

I am somehow bigger than my vessel,
and this
reaches over the edges
this
fills the space beyond my skin
races ever outwards
to the vessel
which is
purportedly
you.

October ‘09

The pavement sparkles with broken glass,
the tiny jewels that Friday left behind
Stepping over a thousand winking lights,
I breathe mist before me
guiding my own way.

crisp collected coldness
barbaric comfort
harsh sweetness
helps me keep my speed,
the thought of home…

step lightly
my soles are thin.
Breathe out lightly
keep more within.

September ‘09

The feeling of flying in my feet,
stepping lightly,
criss-cross
doubletake
I’ve got somewhere to be,
but all I can think of
is dreams.

They followed me when I rose,
took the shortcut
met me at the door
intercepted me between thought
and action;

The same dream
resurfaces, chasing
changing each day
but with the same face.

I get lost in a breath
between exhaling and inhaling
there’s a moment;
when I am completely exposed.

Is it there?
Is this where the dreams have crawled in?
Paying no rent,
nor heed,
blowing warmth into their hands
lighting little fires within me -
where flames have long been banished.

September ‘09

blemishes
are leopard spots

lines
tiger stripes

when will you stop seeing me as beautiful?
can we weather age together
will you always love my morning eyes

will I have enough time
to tell you everything I feel
(is it possible?)

will we know each other completely
how much is lost
if the mystery goes?

will you always love my morning eyes?

September ‘09

heat
keeps us alive

cold
motivates us to live

keepwarm instincts
bring us closer.

or, they’re excuses.

believe me when I say
I don’t really care -

as long as you stay
right here.

September ‘09

we’re drifting
a little eddy this way, a turn,
light fracturing
splayed across the ceiling
my eyes are open now,
I have found out
where you came from.
nobody expected this of us,
it just was.

Perhaps now I’m learning
to trust imperfection,
that drafting is natural -
even for the divine.
I don’t deserve you yet -
but with time
I will earn
this joy.

September ‘09